7 Habits of Highly Effective People: “In Order to say ‘No’ You Have to Have a Bigger ‘Yes’ Burning Inside.”

Today we shall discuss the 3rd Habit.

The 3rd Habit is the physical manifestation of the previous 2 habits. Proactivity puts you in the mindset of of self-awareness, in recognizing your situation and what you like and don’t like about it. Doing so puts you in the driver’s seat, once you see what you don’t like, now you can decide its up to you to change it.

Beginning with the End in Mind is letting our imagination run wild, now that we know what we want to change, we have to figure out what to change it with. The 2nd Habit leads us to a worthy ideal in which to strive for, it has not made itself to the physical realm (yet). But it creates that burning desire of what we want in life.

The 3rd Habit then builds up what it is exactly that we want by taking actionable steps towards realizing that end that we so desire. It is the process of acting rather than being acted upon. Before we act however, we must decide what it is that we need to do. Steven Covey describes that all daily activities can be divided into 4 subcategories:

In order to move towards what we want, we must focus on Quadrant 2: things that are important and not urgent. These activities are the preventative measure that we can take in our lives that will move us steadily towards our goals. Things such as planning for the future (economically, business related and personally), things that we know are important, but as there are no deadlines, things we rarely get around to.

What is important to note is to avoid those things which are not important as they steal your time and leave you with nothing. Let me ask you a question, have you ever completed a number of projects in quick succession with deadlines approaching within days if not hours? If you had, how is it that you really felt deep down? Likely if you’re like me you had a sense of emptiness.

The reason why is because even after completing all those assignments, you end up exactly in the same place as you were before despite your best efforts. You then have another set of deadlines to meet. As a result you are no better off then you were previously.

Therein lies the problem of Quadrants 1 and 3 in the Time Management Matrix, you are putting out fires, important or not, that leave you burnt out and overwhelmed.

Covey asks us a question “What one thing could you do in your personal and professional life that, if you did on a regular basis, would make a tremendous positive difference in your life?”

This is the starting point of actualizing effective personal management. You see the beauty of Quadrant 2 is that it acts as a preventative measure of crises. Undoubtedly there will be things that we can’t control, but that does not mean we cannot shrink them down to manageable proportions. Instead of being up at 3:46 AM cramming for that 8AM final (or business presentation) the next morning, you can rest easy knowing you are in control through effectively managing your time. You’ve taken small chunks of time out each day to study what you need to know for that big day tomorrow. You are in control.

Some of you may say, “But I don’t have the time!” That is nonsense, think deeply and you’ll realize you have plenty of time to sow the seeds of abundance:

• Time wasted watching TV
• Time wasted on Facebook and other social media
• Time wasted binge watching Netflix

In order to say “ no” to these things, there must be a burning “ yes!” to replace it. The best way to regain an abundance of time to invest in Quadrant 2 is by saying “ no!” to these listed Quadrant 3 and 4 activities. That “ yes” comes from what you decided in Habit 2 as the ideal in which you strive for, something that makes you jump up and down with excitement, something worth struggling, reaching and striving for.

The Takeaway: With goal in hand, proactively look for actionable steps that will move you towards that goal. It can be presented as knowledge, investment or opportunity. Whatever it may be, capitalize on it, and you will have sown the seeds of success.

Habit 1: Be Proactive

Habit 2: Begin With the End in Mind

Habit 3: Put First Things First

Habit 4: Think Win/Win

Habit 5: Seek First to understand, Then to Be Understood

Habit 6: Synergize

Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw